If that's not love....

After reading Danielle's post about her journey through infertility and finally falling pregnant with their gorgeous little man Aidan, I started thinking about what my journey is and what I would write about, if I would write anything at all. After thinking about it all day I realised there was only one thing that I could write about.

I have three beautiful cheeky little boys who make my day brighter and busier. I have a lovely husband who would do anything for me if I asked him to. There was a time very early on in our relationship that I asked him to make a very big decision and he made it without a second thought and doesn't ever hold it against me.

When we had been together for four days Michael proposed. About 3 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. Over the moon you say? Well I was 22 weeks pregnant which made the baby defiantly not his.
I had to tell him this on the phone and I will never forget his response. "Your not getting rid of me that easily"
There was a lot of drama involving the biological father (still is) but when it came down to delivery day it was Michael who was holding my hand and that was all that mattered to me, and him. We had our beautiful eldest boy Jack Patrick 7lb 9oz's. Michael named him and gave him his last name.

We had a lot of hard times the 1st year, it's hard enough going from 2 to 3 but we did it before we had been together for 12 months. Michael tried very hard to get used to being a daddy, which is hard when you have no blood link to the child. It was hard on all of us but by the time Jack turned 1 we had moved town and were our own little family unit. Michael and Jack had their own games, there own time together and things were good. We decided to try for our own baby together, it was very exciting trying for a baby not just falling pregnant. We had James and it became very obvious that there was a huge difference between them. Jack with his fair skin, blue eyes and sandy hair. James with his olive skin, dark hair and dark brown eyes.

Michael and Jack mowing the lawn.

James and Jack.

Now Jack is 4 turning 5 in April. I can't believe we've made it this far. Jack's biological father and I had a long conversation late last year but he is still not ready to tell his family he has a son let alone met him. So for now Michael is the only father Jack know's (which is fine with us) but the day we have to tell him why he looks so different to his two little brothers is getting closer. I don't want to wait til he is a teenager, I also don't want him to find out from someone else. I know it has to be done but it's a dark cloud that hangs over my head everyday, I don't think it will get any better once he know's the truth, I can imagine he will have a lot of questions to ask and some will be very hard to answer, but I will be so proud to tell him the man who taught him how to use the toilet, everything he know's about nature and be a kind thoughtful little boy, will always be there for him as he always has been. If that's not love I don't know what is.

Have you got a journey to share? ~ Blog This