Monday, September 13, 2010

What if...

After a very fun, very happy weekend with my funny husband and my amazing strange children Michael and I had 'the talk'.
We've had the talk many times over in the last six years, the outcome changes every time. This weekend seemed more real for some reason. After a few beers on Saturday my darling hubby said 'Come on lets have another baby, we'll start trying next week' I knew he was only joking but he had been hinting and joking about it for a while so I knew it was on his mind.

So do we count our blessings enjoy each other and our gorgeous happy children or do we bite the bullet and bring another crazy one in to our crazy life?
While the boys climbed over us on Sunday Michael gave me the look and I knew what he was thinking then he said
'What if we adopt?' I was not prepared for that.
He knows being pregnant is not a great time for me and how much I actually hate it, I'm sure he hates seeing me pregnant as well.
I said 'What about being foster parents?' I always dreamed about having a huge house full of bunks and loads of kids.
Michael's response 'No way I'm falling in love with a kid just to have to give it back to its junkie mother'
We could be having the talk for years to come at this rate.
I love having three and its a crazy busy life we lead, I don't want to have a break down because I've pushed it too far and had a forth. But then I don't want to wake up at 50 with three grown up kids (Jack 29, James 27 Charlie 25) and regret not having another little person to make our happy fun weekends even funner (if funner is not a word I think it should be). 

So what do you think? How many (if any) children do you have? Will you stop at this number? How many is perfect for you? Am I insane to keep going?

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  1. At the end of the day Kate it is totally up to you guys. I personally think 1 or 2 is good, but you are by far more of a motherly person than I am, and my darling brother, well if it was up to him, I am sure that he would have a hundred..... love you guys, maybe one for to try for a little girl... he he

  2. Love you too favorite sister in law! and I agree if it was up to him we would have 100! : )

  3. This is such a hard question! I agree that you don't want to get older and regret not having another baby, but you also don't want things to be so crazy that you don't really enjoy the ones you have.

    I think that I'll stop at two, but it doesn't make you a crazy woman for wanting four- my mum had four kids and she loved it!

  4. Amy you've totally hit the nail on the head! I don't want to be so busy their life flys past me, I do really enjoy having three and I don't get enough one on one time with them as it is, certsinly is a hard question!

  5. I have 3, as you know, and I hope we'll have another one (maybe even two if my body doesn't break down). I find you can always make room for one more, and I love the thought of a big, crazy, bustling household where there's always someone to play with and something fun happening. My advice? If you're going to have another, wait a little while. There's a 7 year gap (which is a little TOO long) between Anouk and Frank, and I have had enough time to get over all the full-on little kid stuff before delving back in. The result? I relish every day with my baby because it's new and exciting again, and I get lots of one on one time with him while the others are at school.

  6. There are so many things to think about: do you want to try for a girl to balance things out; is it better to have kids close together (then you've always got hand-me-downs, the baby stuff etc), or better to leave a gap (that way you get more time with the older kids, and they can help look after the younguns when they're a bit more responsible)...

    Pros of more than three: support groups, always someone to play with, never lonely, you get to make a contribution to the world by bringing up conscientious citizens... lots of them. They'll have kids who will have masses and masses of cousins.

    Cons: you'd need a bigger car. A bigger house. A bigger bed. A bigger lounge... family deals wouldn't apply to you, and yes, you might lose a lot of time over the years with the children you already have, if you have more kids.

    That said, I had four siblings, and could have done with more. I think a big family is too rare these days... if you can afford it, and make it work, then you are one of a minority, so maybe just go for it?

    As an aside: natural births are a lot easier to arrange than adoption. There are only about 30 adoptions of unknown children by strangers in NSW each year, according to the ABC.

  7. You could get older and regret not having another, yet you could get older and regret having an extra one -which is way worse- Especially when you can't afford to retire with your hubby for YEARS, because your still paying off uni fees, first cars, weddings and the likes. There are always 'possible' future children. But you can't put them back once they are here! Think about how much INDIVIDUAL time you spend with your current kids....can you fit another in? Can you fit another in your car? can you fit another in your house?

    Its your decision alone. Just make sure you do it FOR YOURSELF and the well being of your current and possible future kids.


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